Alright, time to get a little vulnerable. We are now T+3 days since Lucas’ “due date”. As I am sure all the moms out there can relate to, Grace is now going a little bit crazy sitting at home waiting for Lucas to come (she took vacation this whole week in anticipation of Lucas coming, since she wouldn’t be able to do much as a veterinarian feeling the way she does). And me? I have continued going to work anxiously awaiting the call from Grace that it is GO time. Even though I still don’t know what it’ll be like (Expectations vs. Reality), my mind has been racing quite a bit this whole week.
I know everyone has told me the same thing: “you never think you’re ready”…but I’ve taken a look at my qualifications and I don’t think I qualify to be a dad! How am I going to take care of a little human when sometimes I feel like I can’t even take care of myself? I remember when I was a kid thinking that my parents literally knew everything and would always protect and take care of me. I never once doubted anything they did and I swore that my parents had everything under control. Which then makes me think…will Lucas think the same way? Will I be able to make him feel as safe as I felt when I was a kid? Will he think that I have all the answers for his problems? Yikes, the responsibility! Am I supposed to be reading parenting books right now? Or am I too late at this point? Everything has been so exciting and at the same time so scary! Life will literally NEVER be the same for Grace and me. But then again, you can say the same thing about every stage in life. I guess that’s what growing up is…
Don’t get me wrong though, I can’t wait to meet Lucas, and I can’t wait to be the best dad I can possibly be for him. But hey, sometimes I have to freak out a little in order to calm down afterwards. I hope there are others who felt the same way I am prior to their first little one arriving…or maybe it’s just me? Either way, I think it’s okay to freak out a little bit. At least for me, it helps me calm down shortly after! Phew, rant over! I think I’m back to being at peace and overflowing with excitement for Lucas to join us!
P.S. anyone have any other ideas of how to naturally induce labor? Grace would appreciate any help!